Contrats? I Don't Need No Stinking Contracts
by DrRaven
Summary: Harry learns of betrayal and shenanigans in dealing with most of the Order.  WHat does he do?  ONESHOT


"I'm afraid the contract is unbreakable, Lord Potter-Black." Ragnot said, looking at the dark haired teen. "In the legal sense, Lord Dumbledore was your legal guardian at the time, and can sign those kinds of contracts." The smug look on Dumbledore's face said it all. He intended him to be stuck with the Weasley family of thieves. "You must marry _Ginerva Molly Weasley, _Human Magical Female, within 30 days of your majority."

"And if I decide to kill Ginerva?" Harry asked coldly. "Or feed her to a werewolf? After all, the contract says she must be a human magical female, and we all know that the law says that werewolves are _half breeds_." Harry sneered at Lupin, who lowered his eyes in shame. Tonks, who was holding his hand, sneered at Harry.

"Then you would lose your wealth and your magic." Ragnot said. "The contract is written in old laws, stating that you cannot cause her death or dismemberment."

"Death or dismemberment, eh?" Harry said. "And you're certain there's no other way to void this contract?"

"Not that I'm aware of, Lord Potter-Black, unless Mr. Weasley, as head of the Weasley family, wishes to void it."

"No way, Potter. You're mine now!" Ginny snapped. Arthur shrugged.

"Ragnot, you have a legal advisor on staff, do you not? That knows magical law back and forth?" Harry asked.

"Of course, Lord Potter-Black. I shall have one here for you in a moment." Ragnot pressed a few runes on his desk and a moment later, a harried looking man entered. "Lord Potter-Black has a few questions for you."

"Privately, please. As it is Barrister-Client privilege." Harry said.

"Of course, Lord Potter-Black."

"Now that Lord Potter-Black has returned, we can continue this. As Lord Dumbledore is no longer the guardian of Harry James Potter, he may only speak when spoken to. As he is party to the contract in question, he is still necessary. Lord Dumbledore, do you still wish to enforce this contract, as former guardian to Harry James Potter, now, Lord of the Houses of Potter and Black?"

"I do, Master Ragnot." Dumbledore replied smirking.

"Mr. Weasely, as Head of the Noble house of Weasley, do you wish to enforce this contract for your daughter, Ginerva Molly Weasley?"

"Yes." Arthur sighed.

"Lord Potter-Black, you may speak." Ragnot said, grinning.

"Well. This has come as a surprise. I find that the people I considered family have betrayed me, forcing me to accept this garbage. However… thanks to legal advice, I have found that I do not have to accept."

"WHAT?" Molly Weasley roared.

"Let me finish, please." Harry said. "There is one loophole that Ragnot didn't mention, but did hint towards." Harry smirked at Dumbledore. "I, Harry James Potter, hereby claim the life debt of Ginerva Molly Weasley."

Shocks and gasps went throughout the room.

"Although I cannot claim her life, I _can and do_ however claim her magic and her freedom. She shall forever be bound to… the Malfoy Family as a slave. So mote it be." A bright flash of light filled the room, as a golden hue around Ginny shot towards Harry. Harry didn't flinch as the magic from Ginny slammed into him, adding to his own magic.

"HARRY JAMES POTTER!" Molly Weasley roared.

"Silence, BITCH. I'm not done." Harry snapped, and immediately Molly Weasley was bound and gagged. "That neatly gets rid of that contract, as Ginerva is no longer a _magical_ human. Next… I, Harry James Potter, claim the Life Debt of Arthur Micha Weasley. As Head of the House of Weasley, I claim the family Magic, so mote it be!" Again, a bright aura filled the room, as not one, but four magical balls slammed into Harry, and Harry accepting the new magic into his own. "As you may have noticed, there are only four magical balls. One from Arthur, one from Molly, one from Percy, and one from Ron, all the members of the Weasley family who betrayed me. Bill, Charlie, Fred and George have denounced the Weasley name as of this morning. Of course, Arthur was too busy being greedy to notice that."

"Harry… what have you done?" Dumbledore paled further as Harry smirked again.

"HARRY JAMES POTTER!" Hermione screeched. Harry turned towards her.

"Hermione… if you are at all intelligent, I'd advise you to remain silent. You had nothing to do with this, as far as I can tell, and you really don't want to go there right now. I'm done with people running my life, and it's time for payback. Lupin, I consider you worse than Pettigrew. He betrayed my parents, and it cost them their lives. YOU betrayed me, and it _almost _ cost me my life. I, however, am very forgiving. You didn't know about the money the Weasleys stole, nor did you know that the wolfsbane potion brewed for you was paid for by me. You betrayed me by doing nothing for first 12 years of my life." Harry smiled. "Therefore, as your punishment…" He turned to Ragnot and nodded. Ragnot handed Remus an envelope.

"This… I do this and I'm forgiven?" Remus asked.

"Yes." Harry said. "are you willing?"

"But… I can't… not now… it's…"

"Did you check the envelope?" Harry smirked. Remus did and his eyes widened. He turned towards Tonks.

"Nymphadora Elieen Tonks, Will you marry this old wolf?" Remus asked. Tonks went from angry to shocked.

"What… what….huh?" Tonks sputtered.

"Elegant that one." Fred said.

"Too right," George said.

"And how." Bill said.

"Answer him Nymphy!" Charlie said.

All four of the Weasleys who still retained their magic stepped out of the shadowed corner.

"Bill! Charlie!" Arthur shouted. "What's going on?"

"We saw everything, Mr. Weasley." Bill said coldly. "We also know of the money you tried to pilfer from Harry. That's why you never worried about advancement, because Ginny was your ticket to wealth!"

"I've never been more ashamed to be a Weasley." Charlie inputted.

"Thank Merlin…" Fred began

"We are no longer…" George continued.

"Weasleys." All four chorused.

"Yes!" Tonks shouted over the din. "Harry? Why?"

"You are a member of the Black family. I know you can never willingly go against the patriarch of the Black Family, namely me. That tells me that a) You weren't doing it of your free will, which means imperious. b) Someone from the order, most likely Snape, was the one who cast it." Harry smirked again as Dumbledore paled. "Oh, don't worry Headmaster. Old Voldywarts told him to do it too. As for your plans for the greater good, screw them, because they aren't for _my_ greater good. And I do hope you have your best politicians hat when you leave, because the Daily Prophet, the WWN, and about 50 international publications are outside that door waiting to hear why you thought you could force me into something I don't want. And before you get any ideas that you can lie your way out, everything spoken here, _including _my private chat with the legal wizard, was broadcast live over the WWN. You see, Ragnot being the wonderful goblin he is, forewarned me about everything. The words he spoke, and I quote, _'You must marry Ginerva Molly Weasley, Human Magical Female, within 30 days of your majority.'_ Can anyone tell me the key word to that?"

"Magical." Hermione spoke up immediately, as if answering questions were engrained in her wiring. "or Human. Slaves are no longer considered human."

"Right in One, Hermione." Harry smirked. "I could have just made her a muggle, or I could have just made her a slave. But I decided that she deserved both for being a gold digging slut. I noticed when I read that contract, it said that she didn't have to be pure, as in virginal, which made this a non-standard olde English contract. And guess what? Life debts supersede contracts anyway, as it's magical debt, not contractual."

"How long have you been planning this?" Fleur asked.

"For about a minute after I received a special package from Sirius the moment I got back to Privet Drive. He warned me about Dumbles and the five Weasleys. He sent along this nifty little ring, which made me Head of the Black Family. That, in turn, got me a nice little box, that had the Potter Family Ring in it, with a nice little letter from Ragnot here telling me about the contract. Since both rings are portkeys to Gringotts too, I used it and had a nice little meeting with my friend."

"And it was a profitable meeting, I might add!" Ragnot laughed. Many were shocked to see the leader of the Goblin Nation laughing like that.

"Yes. It was. All of this was set up within weeks. Ragnot here spoke to Bill, who spoke to Charlie and the Twins, who all four gave magical oaths that they knew nothing. I believed it before they swore, because they were the only members of the Weasley family not to have vaults created from my money. Percy was involved in the Ministry plot to attack me, so that's why he got sapped. And another little gift my Godfather left me, was another contract, thanks to yet another life debt." Harry said.

"Yes. I know of it." Fleur smiled and moved towards Harry, kissing his cheek. "Maman and Papa were very happy to offer me, as was I."  
"Bill arranged for me to get to France for a day, where I met her parents, and to ascertain if Fleur was a willing participant in this contract. I know my GODFATHER would never set me up in a contract unless _he_ felt I would want it. He already knew from speaking to me last year that I was attracted to Fleur not because of her Veela heritage, but as a person. Being the responsible, kind, wonderful godfather he was, did something about it. It was originally Marie's intention to marry me off to Gabrielle, but he knew I'd be way too uncomfortable with marrying a 10 year old."

"So I offered myself instead." Fleur said. "The contracts were signed, and we were married last week. Ana, my best friend was my maid of honor, while Fred/George stood as best men."

"Then Sebastian called all of the international papers, arranged for our nifty little surprise here today. You see, Dumbledore, you've been outplayed by a 16 year old. The Potter family has a new Matriarch, and the Black Family _will_ have one shortly… Merlin that Ana looked hot in her dress." Harry beamed.

"Ana fulfills the requirement of being pureblood of at least five generations. I suggested it, and Harry agreed. The fun thing about it, and the fantasy of every male, is that we share everything." Jaws dropped from the men in the room as Ana came from behind the secrecy corner and kissed Harry on the cheek, standing next to Fleur.

"Oh, and the best part about everything Dumbledore? There's not thing one you can do about it. You literally have zero control over me or anything I do."

"You still have your education." Dumbledore sneered.

"Do I?" Harry smirked. "Hermione my dear… kindly let Madame Marchbanks in here." Hermione nodded and opened the door to pandemonium. An elderly witch strolled in. "Grizelda, my darling. How are you this fine day?"

"Harry! You scamp! I told you to call me Zelda. I'm well. I take it you want to know the results?"

"Of course. But pleasantries must be observed!" Harry waved his hand and a tea set appeared before them. Harry poured the elder tea and smiled.

"Alright you scamp." Zelda said. "I got your results here. Ima was happy to relay them to me from the ICW Education office. Shall I announce them? We are still live, right?"  
"OF course!" Hermione pouted.

"Well then." Zelda began. "Lord Harry James Potter-Black. International Confederation of Wizards, Educational Department NEWT Scores. Harry James Potter-Black has scored the following: In Transfiguration, Practical and Theory, O. Charms, Practical and Theory O. Herbology Practical O, Theory E, Overall O. Potions, Practical and Theory, O, Defense Against the Dark Arts, Mastery. Care of Magical Creatures, Practical O, Theory E, Overall E. Muggle Studies, Mastery. Arithmancy, Practical and Theory E. Ancient Runes, Practical and Theory E."

"You didn't take OWL level Arithmancy or Runes!" Hermione squeaked.

"I had a good tutor. Goblins horde knowledge. They just happen to like me enough to teach me." Harry smirked.

"Mastery?" Remus asked.

"Lord Potter-Black… to use a muggle phrase, stomped a mudhole in our instructors and walked it dry, during his practical defense NEWT. He beat the top five dueling International Aurors without really breaking a sweat." Zelda beamed. "When one of the other Mugwumps asked him how, he replied quite cheekily while pointing to the duelists, 'Riddle, Bellatrix, Dolohov, Wormtail, and Lucius.' He was asked to explain, and he said that he just imagined the duelers as these people."

Gasps were heard from everyone in the room. Harry continued to smirk.

"What? The weakest duelist there I nicknamed wormtail, the best, Riddle. I have extraordinary motive to win."

"I understand Lucius. Even Bellatrix. But who is Riddle, Dolohov and WOrmtail?" Zelda asked.

"Riddle is Voldemort's real name. Half-blood born from a muggle and a deluded witch. Wormtail is Peter Pettigrew, betrayer of the Potters and murder. Dolohov is the fucker who hurt Hermione."

"Oh Harry!" Hermione cried throwing herself in Harry's arms. Harry awkwardly patted her back while she cried.

"Anyway. You see Dumbledore… you've been trumped. There's nothing you can say to stop me any longer, from doing what I want."

"The Prophecy." Dumbledore said.

"Not my problem. I may have to kill Voldemort, but I won't do that until _every single marked death eater_ is dead. Until then, you'll just have to do the best you can. Remus, Tonks, Andi, Ted, Fleur, Ana… go on ahead and secure the grounds. Contact the Delacours and ensure they're ready with phase 2. Bill, Charlie, Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum, head to my place. Dumbles over there gets to spend time with the fourth estate!" Harry smiled as the first group disappeared, the second group waved merrily and disappeared.

"Harry…"

"Yes Ragnot?" Harry turned towards Ragnot. He handed Harry a galleon.

"I hate you. You cost me more than just that galleon." Ragnot said.

"How so?" Hermione asked.

"I bet Harry that he couldn't neatly tie everything up before the end of the reading." Ragnot shrugged. "That cost me the galleon. However, a second bet stated that he couldn't make Dumbledore look like a smacked down puppy, and he did. I lost 100 galleons to my colleagues." Everyone laughed, as the description was quite apt.

"I gained about 50 galleons. I bet that Dumbledore would first try education, then the prophecy bullshit." He turned towards Dumbledore. "You're far too predictable, old man." Hermione, who was still holding onto Harry smiled.

"Well… Cheerio!" With that, Harry disappeared.

The fallout from the events of the Black Will reading was tremendous. It seemed that the Wizarding World wanted Riddle gone. Bearing the Dark Mark was a death sentence, and it was carried out swiftly. Newly marked Draco Malfoy was found hanging from the center Quidditch goal post while Crabbe and Goyle were on either side. On the other side of the pitch was Michael Coroner, Pansy Parkinson and Cho Chang. Snape was beheaded in Diagon Alley, Lucius Malfoy was found without legs and a right arm in Hogsmeade, while what was left of Bellatrix was discovered near the Arcumantua colony in the forrest.

By the time six months of no Harry Potter came around, it seemed there was no Death Eaters to be found. The Department of Magical Law Enforcement was on a manhunt for Riddle's location, to be passed on to Harry Potter as soon as he was found. Riddle went into hiding the moment he lost all of his inner circle. He never came out of hiding after losing the rest of his Death Eaters. Wormtail was his only servant left, and Voldemort accidently killed him when his mind gave out to the Cruciatus Curse.

Riddle had to admire Potter for only one reason. Give the people a reason to revolt, and mob mentality takes over. He gave them the option that if they want to be safe, they took things into their own hands while he would take care of the main problem. Granted, being the main problem was himself, Riddle felt grudgingly proud of the Slytherin tactic of getting others to do the work for you.

It was announced on New Years Day, 1997. Riddle Manor in Little Hangleton was demolished by a multitude of bombs falling on the Manor. There was no warning. The Daily Prophet received the letter the previous evening, just before they were to print.

_To the Wizarding Population:_

_ You held up your end of the bargain, and rid the United Kingdom of The Death Eaters. While I don't condone the methods used to kill Draco Malfoy, Vincent Crabbe, Gregory Goyle, Michael Coroner, Cho Chang and Pansy Parkinson, as you did it at HOGWARTS where children could see it, I do applaud the speed and tenacity that you showed in protecting your own interests. You took a challenge from the Boy-Who-Lived to rid the world of Voldemort, with the condition that YOU, Wizarding Britain, take care of the Death Eaters. Have we learned the lesson?_

_ Now, if you're Hermione Granger, you'd know the lesson right away. Maybe if you're Remus Lupin, you'd figure it out quickly too. If you're Albus Bloody Dumbledore, then you probably haven't figured it out yet. And if you're Ron Weasley, you have no clue. However, I have faith in the GENERAL Wizarding world. You probably figured out that you can't depend on ONE PERSON to fight for you and your families. No. You have to fight for yourselves too. That is the object lesson. Death Eaters used torture, rape, murder, and fear to try and control you. However, I gave you a better reason. Love. All of you love your families, and most would die to protect them. The Mob mentality, people, shows that when more than a group of people fight at once, then things can be achieved. I am just one man. I fought one man. I beat one man. I was prophesized to be the one to defeat Voldemort, but I sure as hell wasn't going to fight my way through hordes of his idiot followers to do it. _

_ Now I sit here, watching Riddle Manor burn, to leave you all with this bit of advice. Challenge everything. Challenge what your government tells you. Ask questions. Investigate. Don't take one person's word over anothers. Investigate things for yourself. Fudge's idiocy cost us a year of preparation. The Media, who is supposed to be unbiased, spouted the lies the Ministry shoveled. I don't tell you to go out and murder our government. No. If you want to make a difference, stand up and speak! Do not resort to violence. I may have condoned it for Death Eaters, but they are nothing more than inhuman scum. Some of your government officials may be idiots, but they are not evil. Clean out your own back yard. _

_ My wives and I wish you all the luck in the world, as you'll need it. From my tally, you have lost over 50 percent of the Ministry workforce thanks to the Death Eater purge. (Coincidence?) New blood equals new ideas, and progress. Do not stagnate because of tradition. Good luck._

_Harry James Potter-Black_

_Fleur Delacour-Potter_

_Ana Cherie Black_


End file.
